On Monday evening, the Grizzlies beat the Thunder. Fans in Memphis were ecstatic. Fans in Oklahoma City dejected. Despite being a basketball fan, I couldn't have cared any less about that part of the world that particular evening. But the basketball world moved on. So much more moved on that evening. My world did too. But it could have come to a crashing halt, while the rest of the world moved on. One of the sad facts about life !
Earlier that day my wife called me while I was away working at a client site a stone's throw away from home. She recounted the most recent minutes of her day that sent my heart racing, my head pounding, and my body into furious perspiration. When I hung up, I apologized to the client that I had to go, packed up my things, and drove to meet up with my wife and daughter at the Urgent Care.
Not too many minutes before that phone call, my wife had pulled our baby daughter, 19 months old now, out of the communal swimming pool, where all alone, she had been flapping about desperately trying to find anything to hold onto and bring herself up above the water. Her head, and the rest of her body, was under water, with only the crown of her head peaking above the water and her arms flapping about.
It appears she'd probably just fallen in not too long before. In an evident panic, she pulled her out of the water, calling her name frantically. Not sure what to do, she tried to make her throw up, hoping any water she might have swallowed would come up and out. Instead, our daughter, fought her back, shouting " 'top it mummy, 'top it" when she could finally push her mum's hand away. "Top It" is her way of saying "Stop it".
After that moment of panic she carried her back to our apartment to call the doctor, before calling me. In all that time, I could hear our 19 month old chatting about in the background going about her own business like nothing at all had just happened. Kids are amazingly oblivious !!
Kids, also, too easily have a knack for slipping the attention of their parents, even when parents pretty much have them closely under watch. This was one of them times. She was with my wife getting the laundry done just outside our apartment, down the hall, in an open room just past the swimming pool.
The swimming pool is completely fenced inside an area that also has two BBQ grills, a half dozen or so reclining sun lounger beds, and a common room, that are all only accessibly via a wide, 5 foot high, heavy wooden gate, that needs you to reach over the top to release the latch on the other side of it. Its not an easy gate to open for even my two older kids. Certainly my 5 year old can't, but my 7 year old has kinda figured it out, but she still needs to jump, pull herself up, and hang onto the gate, and feel her way about to find the latch and lift it to open the gate.
The gate is held to the supporting wooden fence by the kind of springs that force the gate shut again once somebody walks through and lets go of it. Once you're outside that area, and are about 5 foot or shorter, you would not be able to see the swimming pool on the other side of the wooden fence. You cant see through, the way you would a chain-link fence. And I think that's a good idea, because its less tempting to little kids passing by.
As my wife was loading the laundry into the washing machines, our 19 month old was right next to her, singing audibly enough to herself. The very moment she couldn't hear her, she turned to her side to realize that she was no longer there. She looked down the 3 halls that converge into that open area that the laundry room, without a door, also opens into. No sight of her. She quickly checked into the nearby gym whose door was open, but she wasn't there either. She ran back to the apartment, while calling her name out at the top of her voice, thinking she might have started to make her own way back home, but she wasn't there either.
The swimming pool area was the only place she hadn't checked, even though all logic suggested it was way too hard for our daughter to find her way inside that area.
And that's where she found her. In the pool, alone, flapping wildly under water. The gate had been shut behind her too. Its hard to imagine how she got past the gate, apart from maybe someone had held the gate on their way out so that it doesn't make that loud sound when it slams shut. And maybe because of that, it hadn't been latched in place, by its own weight slamming it secure. Cant think of any other way.
Either way, she found her, probably like half a minute after she noticed she wasn't singing by her side any more. She said it seemed like a lifetime. That was probably the reason why she was more just a little shaken up and quickly forgot the experience and got back to singing to herself. The doctor at the Urgent Care confirmed that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She couldn't hear any water in her lungs, so she'd probably just gotten into the pool not too long before my wife found her.
We are now getting one of those toddler leashes I see parents have their toddlers on. And I don't mean that to be funny at all. I'm dead serious.
Laying in bed that night, I couldn't imagine how parents go to bed the night after losing a child. I know one family that lost a 4 year old to a swimming pool accident years ago. I know two families that recently lost young children to sickle-cell anemia. I don't know how they went to sleep that night, or any night after that. The very thought of it made me sick in the stomach.
I couldn't even bear to bring myself to look at my daughter's photos hanging on the wall and around the house that evening, cause my mind just kept on telling me that those could have all just been now a memory I was looking at that.
But I did fall asleep, thanking the Lord for answered prayer, because he did watch over our child in an oh so evident way that day.
.
MISTER WENDAL
...Raising our three daughters & life all around that
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Thursday, January 31, 2013
She loves to sing
I heard that the Red-Eyed Vireo sings more than 20,000 songs in a day. That's gotta be a true definition of a songbird. One of my daughters might just be another.
My middle daughter, now 5, loves to sing. She sings all day long, any time, any place, just as long as she's not consciously engaged with anything else. Sometimes, its the singing that she's consciously engaged with.
She sings in the bathtub, she sings in the car on the way to school, on the way from school, on the way to church - especially on the way to church, at the dinner, in bed. She sings in the swimming pool, at ballet class, while out shopping or on a play date. She sings during commercial breaks while watching TV, and at the airport as soon as she's welcomed her grandma off of a flight. Basically, its everywhere.
Mind you she mostly makes up her own songs, just as much as she sings a song she's learned. Sometimes she sings out of tune. A lot of the time, she's out of tune. She's got a deep Sade-like voice and but at the same time tries to hit Mariah Carey-like highs.
My older daughter, 7, isn't much of a singer. Matter of fact, she doesn't really sing that much at all. Although she'll occasionally hum a quiet tune to herself, she's more of the kind that engages her creative side through drawing. She, more than anyone else cannot stand her sister's singer, even though much to her credit, she tolerates it a lot. She never tells her sister to stop, instead quietly complaining to her mum or myself how her sister's constant singing is "soooooooooo so so so so tiring" - in her own words.
The other day in the car, she cracked into another song she was making up along the way. I was at a red-light and from a quick glance in the rear-view mirror I caught my older daughter roll her eyes and slump in her chair finally resting her chin in her hand in a resigned "oh boy, here we go again" manner.
I smiled.
My 5-year old proceeded to sing for what seemed like forever, while everyone else kept quiet and let her be. At the end of it all, there was a brief silence, as we didnt know if she was going to break out into another song again or we could start up conversation, but she was done. It was a little bit of an awkward moment, because I think she was expecting reaction from us.
Well, she got it. My 15 month old broke out in ecstatic applause, to which my middle daughter eventually responded "Thank you Amani. You are so nice"
It was the funniest thing, and the rest of us couldnt help but burst out in laughter.
We couldnt tell if he applause was because she was glad it was all over, or she was genuinely well entertained by her sister's singer, or she was simply being pleasant. Either way it brightened the mood of my 7 year old who was in a sullen state.
The laughter and good cheer would be broken up minutes later when she started to sing again.
No applause followed that time.
But like the cheerful spirit she is, it didnt make a difference to her, because she always continues to sing whether or not anybody is listening or you like it or not.
My middle daughter, now 5, loves to sing. She sings all day long, any time, any place, just as long as she's not consciously engaged with anything else. Sometimes, its the singing that she's consciously engaged with.
She sings in the bathtub, she sings in the car on the way to school, on the way from school, on the way to church - especially on the way to church, at the dinner, in bed. She sings in the swimming pool, at ballet class, while out shopping or on a play date. She sings during commercial breaks while watching TV, and at the airport as soon as she's welcomed her grandma off of a flight. Basically, its everywhere.
Mind you she mostly makes up her own songs, just as much as she sings a song she's learned. Sometimes she sings out of tune. A lot of the time, she's out of tune. She's got a deep Sade-like voice and but at the same time tries to hit Mariah Carey-like highs.
My older daughter, 7, isn't much of a singer. Matter of fact, she doesn't really sing that much at all. Although she'll occasionally hum a quiet tune to herself, she's more of the kind that engages her creative side through drawing. She, more than anyone else cannot stand her sister's singer, even though much to her credit, she tolerates it a lot. She never tells her sister to stop, instead quietly complaining to her mum or myself how her sister's constant singing is "soooooooooo so so so so tiring" - in her own words.
The other day in the car, she cracked into another song she was making up along the way. I was at a red-light and from a quick glance in the rear-view mirror I caught my older daughter roll her eyes and slump in her chair finally resting her chin in her hand in a resigned "oh boy, here we go again" manner.
I smiled.
My 5-year old proceeded to sing for what seemed like forever, while everyone else kept quiet and let her be. At the end of it all, there was a brief silence, as we didnt know if she was going to break out into another song again or we could start up conversation, but she was done. It was a little bit of an awkward moment, because I think she was expecting reaction from us.
Well, she got it. My 15 month old broke out in ecstatic applause, to which my middle daughter eventually responded "Thank you Amani. You are so nice"
It was the funniest thing, and the rest of us couldnt help but burst out in laughter.
We couldnt tell if he applause was because she was glad it was all over, or she was genuinely well entertained by her sister's singer, or she was simply being pleasant. Either way it brightened the mood of my 7 year old who was in a sullen state.
The laughter and good cheer would be broken up minutes later when she started to sing again.
No applause followed that time.
But like the cheerful spirit she is, it didnt make a difference to her, because she always continues to sing whether or not anybody is listening or you like it or not.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tag, I'm IT
First and foremost, a huge apology to Jemima, who was so gracious to tag me on her blog, waaaayyyyyy back in May - yes thats how bad I've been - and I'm only getting round to following up.
I could give a dozen and more reasons why I've not been able to write this post till now, but lets just say life has been happening between then and now. Hopefully, this umpteenth attempt at writing this post will not end up as yet another draft and you are actually reading it now.
Getting on with it, here's how it goes, although I guess a lot of you are familiar with how tagging works.
I gotta post 11 random things about myself and answer the questions the "tagger", in my case, Jemima, asked me, then go ahead and create 11 questions, and choose 11 people (no tag backs) and tag them to answer my own set of questions.
Here's
11 random things about myself
1. I cant have enough pillows on my bed. I always need one more. And then another, and then another.
2. My family is born across 4 continents - my oldest daughter in Europe, my younger two daughters in America, my wife in Africa, and myself in Asia. 3 more kids, 3 more planets, and we've covered the world right !
3. I recently found out, 7 years ago that is, that I have sickle-cell anemia. Yeah, that may seem strange, and it came as a shock to me too. All my life I grew up being told that I was a sickle-cell carrier. That I carried the trait but was not afflicted by the disease. Nothing suggested otherwise. I was hospitalized once maybe when I was 7, for what in hindsight now I think might have been a crisis, but have not been good since. Matter of fact, my wife has spent more nights in hospitals having our 3 daughters than I have from having a sickle-cell crisis. I found out when doctors asked to screen my wife and myself when we were expecting our first child 7 years ago. Every doctor I've seen since say I'm one in a few that have the genetic condition but dont suffer the way a typical person afflicted by sickle-cell anemia is. I praise God for that and I'm forever in God's awe, as in the last 12 or so months I've known two different families that have lost a young child each to sickle-cell anemia.
4. I've been agonizing for ages if sharing the above is something I really should do or keep it around those that are close to me. Actually, only 2 people know about it, possibly a third if my then shocked mum went on to tell my dad. But then I figured I got a platform right here to give God the glory.
5. I drink too much Coca-Cola. I'll admit that.
6. Growing up, I once mentioned I wanted to be a doctor, and my mum forever believed I really wanted to be a doctor and urged me on even though I was never really interested beyond that one mention of it. In reality, I just wanted to be a pilot. I didn't want to fly just any plane though. I wanted to fly B-52 "Stratofortress" bombers. Not because I wanted to blow-up people or places, but because its such an imposingly beautiful aircraft (I'll wait while you go Google that, just in case you don't know what a B-52 looks like. Nice Huh?). Then I grew up and realized that I needed to be in a certain kind of airforce to be able to fly a plane like that, plus they are not flown for the fun of it, its serious possibly-blow-up-places business flying planes like that.
7. I went to 5 elementary/primary schools in 7 years. I didn't get thrown out of schools or anything like that, but the nature of my dad's work had us as a family move around quite a bit.
8. I don't get tribalism. I don't get racism either.
9. Amongst the top of my list of where-I-wanna-go places: Cuba, the Serengeti, Tahiti, All over South America.
10. I love to fly - refer to random-thing-No.6 - and I generally love aviation even when I'm not flying. If I could fly to a destination 50 miles away instead of driving there I would. And I'm picky about the way I fly too. I pre-book a window seat if I can. I prefer to check-in my flight online 24 hours before and have my boarding passes printed too, if I can. I travel light, so I'm always able to pack the night before. My wife is the complete opposite of everything I've just mentioned. I get into way too much detail when picking flights to destinations that have multiple options - is it a day or night flight, window or aisle, aircraft type, direct or multi-stop, what airline, what alliance? Non of this gives me a headache, I rather quite enjoy it.
11. My worst subject in high school was Chemistry. I hated it. Ironically, my best subject during my O'level exams was Chemistry. The only subject I got a perfect grade in. I owe more to the fact that I had an awesome Chemistry teacher my last 2 years of O'level than anything else. He loved Chemistry with a passion that convinced everyone that we loved Chemistry too. I proceeded to pick Chemistry as one of my 3 subjects for my A'level, because I was still convinced that I wanted to be a doctor - refer to random-thing-No.6 again - I then proceeded to flank Chemistry at my A'level exams, thankfully bringing reality back into my life.
On to answering Jemima's Questions
1) What would you do with your life if you knew money would never be a problem?
Give "every" neglected child a hope for a better life. Travel, travel, travel the world. In first class.
2) Do you believe in one soul mate for each person?
Yes and No. At different times in your life, yes. At the same time in your life, no.
3) When last did you cry?
Probably when my older brother passed away, almost 15 years ago. Have to think hard if I've had a decent cry since then.
4) What would you change about yourself if you could, physically or otherwise?
Be rid of sickle-cell. Trait or not.
5) Books or movies?
Both.
6) What was the most fun you had this week
This week has just begun, but last week it was watching my 2nd Grader and Kindergartener repeat their school's Christmas performance at home to entertain family and friends we had over on Christmas, and them not getting most of anything they sang or said because it was all in Spanish. Most still didnt realize that they are in a Spanish immersion program at school, with almost all their instruction in Spanish. When asked to repeat their performance in English, my kids stood there looking at everyone clueless.
7) Have you ever struggled with an addiction?
No.
8) What's the quickest way for a member of the opposite sex to get your attention
Have a great sense of humor and an intelligent mind.
9) Do you like or show public displays of affection?
Yep.
10) Are you currently holding a grudge against anyone?
No.
11) What is the quickest way for a member of the opposite sex to lose your interest
A self-centered character for the most part would wrap it up for me.
I'm going to keep it simple (for myself) and stick to asking the same questions above, that I was asked by Jemima, and tag the following people.
Tag you're it.
Mamamich, from O's blog
Chinny, from i~Spit It Out
UgandanGirl, from Honestly
Che, from Naija Bank Girl
ccPatricia, from Coffee and Conversations
Cant think to tag anybody else who I know has not previously been tagged before.
PS: Wish this tagging thing was like a Facebook or Twitter tag that automatically lets the person know they've been tagged without me having to go holla.
Have a blessed 2013 everybody.
.
.
I could give a dozen and more reasons why I've not been able to write this post till now, but lets just say life has been happening between then and now. Hopefully, this umpteenth attempt at writing this post will not end up as yet another draft and you are actually reading it now.
Getting on with it, here's how it goes, although I guess a lot of you are familiar with how tagging works.
I gotta post 11 random things about myself and answer the questions the "tagger", in my case, Jemima, asked me, then go ahead and create 11 questions, and choose 11 people (no tag backs) and tag them to answer my own set of questions.
Here's
11 random things about myself
1. I cant have enough pillows on my bed. I always need one more. And then another, and then another.
2. My family is born across 4 continents - my oldest daughter in Europe, my younger two daughters in America, my wife in Africa, and myself in Asia. 3 more kids, 3 more planets, and we've covered the world right !
3. I recently found out, 7 years ago that is, that I have sickle-cell anemia. Yeah, that may seem strange, and it came as a shock to me too. All my life I grew up being told that I was a sickle-cell carrier. That I carried the trait but was not afflicted by the disease. Nothing suggested otherwise. I was hospitalized once maybe when I was 7, for what in hindsight now I think might have been a crisis, but have not been good since. Matter of fact, my wife has spent more nights in hospitals having our 3 daughters than I have from having a sickle-cell crisis. I found out when doctors asked to screen my wife and myself when we were expecting our first child 7 years ago. Every doctor I've seen since say I'm one in a few that have the genetic condition but dont suffer the way a typical person afflicted by sickle-cell anemia is. I praise God for that and I'm forever in God's awe, as in the last 12 or so months I've known two different families that have lost a young child each to sickle-cell anemia.
4. I've been agonizing for ages if sharing the above is something I really should do or keep it around those that are close to me. Actually, only 2 people know about it, possibly a third if my then shocked mum went on to tell my dad. But then I figured I got a platform right here to give God the glory.
5. I drink too much Coca-Cola. I'll admit that.
6. Growing up, I once mentioned I wanted to be a doctor, and my mum forever believed I really wanted to be a doctor and urged me on even though I was never really interested beyond that one mention of it. In reality, I just wanted to be a pilot. I didn't want to fly just any plane though. I wanted to fly B-52 "Stratofortress" bombers. Not because I wanted to blow-up people or places, but because its such an imposingly beautiful aircraft (I'll wait while you go Google that, just in case you don't know what a B-52 looks like. Nice Huh?). Then I grew up and realized that I needed to be in a certain kind of airforce to be able to fly a plane like that, plus they are not flown for the fun of it, its serious possibly-blow-up-places business flying planes like that.
7. I went to 5 elementary/primary schools in 7 years. I didn't get thrown out of schools or anything like that, but the nature of my dad's work had us as a family move around quite a bit.
8. I don't get tribalism. I don't get racism either.
9. Amongst the top of my list of where-I-wanna-go places: Cuba, the Serengeti, Tahiti, All over South America.
10. I love to fly - refer to random-thing-No.6 - and I generally love aviation even when I'm not flying. If I could fly to a destination 50 miles away instead of driving there I would. And I'm picky about the way I fly too. I pre-book a window seat if I can. I prefer to check-in my flight online 24 hours before and have my boarding passes printed too, if I can. I travel light, so I'm always able to pack the night before. My wife is the complete opposite of everything I've just mentioned. I get into way too much detail when picking flights to destinations that have multiple options - is it a day or night flight, window or aisle, aircraft type, direct or multi-stop, what airline, what alliance? Non of this gives me a headache, I rather quite enjoy it.
11. My worst subject in high school was Chemistry. I hated it. Ironically, my best subject during my O'level exams was Chemistry. The only subject I got a perfect grade in. I owe more to the fact that I had an awesome Chemistry teacher my last 2 years of O'level than anything else. He loved Chemistry with a passion that convinced everyone that we loved Chemistry too. I proceeded to pick Chemistry as one of my 3 subjects for my A'level, because I was still convinced that I wanted to be a doctor - refer to random-thing-No.6 again - I then proceeded to flank Chemistry at my A'level exams, thankfully bringing reality back into my life.
On to answering Jemima's Questions
1) What would you do with your life if you knew money would never be a problem?
Give "every" neglected child a hope for a better life. Travel, travel, travel the world. In first class.
2) Do you believe in one soul mate for each person?
Yes and No. At different times in your life, yes. At the same time in your life, no.
3) When last did you cry?
Probably when my older brother passed away, almost 15 years ago. Have to think hard if I've had a decent cry since then.
4) What would you change about yourself if you could, physically or otherwise?
Be rid of sickle-cell. Trait or not.
5) Books or movies?
Both.
6) What was the most fun you had this week
This week has just begun, but last week it was watching my 2nd Grader and Kindergartener repeat their school's Christmas performance at home to entertain family and friends we had over on Christmas, and them not getting most of anything they sang or said because it was all in Spanish. Most still didnt realize that they are in a Spanish immersion program at school, with almost all their instruction in Spanish. When asked to repeat their performance in English, my kids stood there looking at everyone clueless.
7) Have you ever struggled with an addiction?
No.
8) What's the quickest way for a member of the opposite sex to get your attention
Have a great sense of humor and an intelligent mind.
9) Do you like or show public displays of affection?
Yep.
10) Are you currently holding a grudge against anyone?
No.
11) What is the quickest way for a member of the opposite sex to lose your interest
A self-centered character for the most part would wrap it up for me.
I'm going to keep it simple (for myself) and stick to asking the same questions above, that I was asked by Jemima, and tag the following people.
Tag you're it.
Mamamich, from O's blog
Chinny, from i~Spit It Out
UgandanGirl, from Honestly
Che, from Naija Bank Girl
ccPatricia, from Coffee and Conversations
Cant think to tag anybody else who I know has not previously been tagged before.
PS: Wish this tagging thing was like a Facebook or Twitter tag that automatically lets the person know they've been tagged without me having to go holla.
Have a blessed 2013 everybody.
.
.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
The Name is Blue .... JetBlue
I never imagined that it would take a red-eye flight for me to find the time to post again. I got my 5year old slumped across my lap, my 7year old against the window, and across the aisle from me, the Mrs and our 1year old that has finally fallen asleep. She's been that kind of child with restless energy that makes passengers hate having to sit around adults with young kids, despite our best efforts to keep her entertained and engaged within the cramped confines of coach class on an A320 aircraft. Mission Impossible!
With them asleep I've found time to blog again. If only i could get online inflight - some airlines now offer the service (for a fee of course), but not our flight - then i would have access to my hundreds of posts sitting in draft that I've never gotten round to posting. The majority of them are stale by now and i should probably just delete them.
Are any of you the type like me that cant sleep on a flight? It doesn't matter the length of flight, the time of day, eastbound or westbound, or how tired i am before the flight, i just cant get myself to sleeping on a flight.
I once kept myself up till about 1am. I'm a last minute packer, unlike my wife who starts to pack a couple of days before. She hates me for that! Anyways, i started to pack at 1am, was done at about 2am, went to bed, was awake by 6am and out the door soon after to catch my midday flight from London Heathrow to LAX. My fantastic idea was that i would be so worn out that I'd fall asleep on the 10 hour flight. I was so wrong. It was the biggest traveling mistake i had done. I was so wasted, i spent the whole time jostling with myself about my seat dying to find some level of comfort enough to couple with my obvious tiredness to fall asleep but it just didnt happen.
Much as i love to fly and am a huge aviation enthusiast, i had never been so happy to get off a plane. My family who were waiting for me on the other side of clearing customs and immigration welcomed home a near complete cranky me. The excitement of seeing them again after several weeks kept me from being real moody long enough to get home and drop dead asleep.
Since that flight a couple of years ago, i never bother with myself. I go about my day as normal and just expect to stay awake the whole flight through as i am now.
The older two girls were over the moon when we told them we'd be going on holiday during the Thanksgiving break and we'd have to catch a plane to get to where we're going. Its been 4 years since we flew together, a flight my now 5year old was too young to remember a thing about. Our7year says she remembers bits and pieces. In that time its been one thing or another that has had me flying on my own and leaving them behind at the airport has always been a teary time for them. Yes, and me, whom they wouldnt make it any easier on. Wanting to fly again has been something high up on their wish list, especially my older daughter who has picked up on my own enthusiasm about all things aviation.
So we land in New York at about 5am, a little over 2 hours from now, and have close to a 3 hour layover before our connecting flight to Pittsburgh where we'll spend the Thanksgiving Holiday with friends. I'll take that time to upload this post, assuming i do get the time.
By the way, i never do get why the lavatories in a plane clearly have a "No Smoking Allowed" sign and then at the same time the airline provides one of those little ashtrays that you pull from the door, right below the no smoking sign. Doesnt that really defeat the purpose or do airlines leave them there for the sake of good ol days?
Happy Thanksgiving all, wherever you are spending yours, and to any readers that dont necessarily celebrate this very American of holidays.
Stay blessed.
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